Army

National Guard mobilized to pick fruit

Governor hails “historic partnership” between citrus industry and underpaid weekend warriors

Aug 22, 2025 • Red Friday

Fort Hood promises to keep murdering soldiers, despite name change

Rebrand includes new signage, commemorative coins, and same culture of unanswered questions and haunted latrines.

Aug 6, 2025 • Duffel Blog

Pentagon renames Fort Huachuca to Fort Hawk Tua

The Fort’s marketing office is working with the Defense Logistics Agency to develop a new hawk mascot in Oakleys.

Jul 30, 2025 • Adrian DeRyder

Freshly-acquitted Diddy gives your weekend safety brief

Gold diggers, Bieber, and malt liquor: Diddy’s safety brief hits different

Jul 18, 2025 • Adrian DeRyder

8 tattoos you can get under new Hegseth policy

Good news: Tattoos of Pete Hegseth depicted “in the Greek Style” are now allowed.

Jul 16, 2025 • Blondes Over Baghdad

US accidentally re-invades Iraq

Troops surprised to find old combat outposts still smell like Axe body spray

Jun 25, 2025 • Duffel Blog

Army birthday parade sparks rediscovery of Von Steuben’s pimp-step parade doctrine

Lost doctrine finally answers the age-old question: What if marching was fabulous?

Jun 23, 2025 • Adrian DeRyder

Army Secretary decries 'PowerPoint in parade form' for Trump's birthday

Senior leaders cite “mission creep,” cosplay mishaps, and energy drinks as key factors in birthday parade debacle.

Jun 18, 2025 • Robin Berger

Fort Irwin to be renamed Fort Hitler

Army insists it’s “a completely different Hitler,” citing strong Union loyalty and bratwurst recipes.

Jun 11, 2025 • Duffel Blog Staff

Basic bitch goes to Basic Training

Johnson single-handedly organized a supply run for pumpkin spice latte MREs (Meals, Ready-to-Eat).

Jun 9, 2025 • Duffel Blog Staff

US 'far behind in capabilities' being sold by retired general

The retired officer says that America is woefully under-resourced in a defense technology capability that is only sold by his company.

Jun 2, 2025 • Thunder Chicken

Army study: Soldiers have bigger dicks than sailors

The USS Ronald Reagan held the record for simultaneous penis inspections, with 473 sailors participating.

May 28, 2025 • Ghost Of Jimmy Carter

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