Chimp hanging upside down from lectern named new Pentagon spokesman

Banana tariffs, China, and showing his butt top agenda for new flack

WASHINGTON — The Pentagon’s newest spokesman introduced himself today in an unorthodox manner — hanging upside down over the Department of Defense seal, wearing nothing but a crisply ironed American flag tie.

Apey, a chimpanzee with what officials describe as “extensive public affairs experience,” has been hired to brief reporters and answer questions on…